Friday, 7 September 2012

How to know your relationship is over



It’s always difficult to know when a relationship is over but sometimes the answer is right in front of you, you just need it to be pointed out. We’ve got expert advice on how to know when it’s time to call it a day with your man.
You’re failing to communicate...

 "Communication is so essential to a relationship, that the lack thereof can be a sign that the relationship is on its way out,” says Rachel DeAlto, relationship and flirting expert (Theflirtexpert.com). “Are either of you no longer talking about issues or communicating about things that bother you? That is a huge sign that one of you has checked out."Failing to communicate will leave a big void in your relationship and cause minor problems to spiral into unnecessary issues. Try going for an afternoon walk or book a table at your local restaurant, with no distractions the conversation should flow more easily. If it proves to be difficult and it becomes apparent that you simply just don’t care anymore then you know what to do.

You’re off sex...

 Having a healthy sex life and one that suits both your libidos and sexual desires is important for every relationship, but if your bedroom time has gone from exciting and experimental to dull and repetitive then it’s time to decide why.
 Relationship expert Rachel DeAlto says, “If your sex life has gone from 60 to 0, it is a bad sign that your relationship is on the fritz. A little ebb and flow of desire is normal, but if one of you has lost the desire completely (without any underlying medical condition involved) it is time to end it."

If you're not quite ready to call it a day, try bringing the zing back to your sexy time with a new sex position, or introduce sex toys into the mix. If you’re both still not jumping into the bedroom then maybe your relationship is more suited to being just a friendship.



If you're not quite ready to call it a day, try bringing the zing back to your sexy time with a new sex position, or introduce sex toys into the mix. If you’re both still not jumping into the bedroom then maybe your relationship is more suited to being just a friendship.

 You’re bored...

 the honeymoon period is over, your time together is more about staying in front of the telly rather than romantic meals and walks.
 While this isn’t necessarily time to call it quits immediately, do let him know you need some more excitement again, even if it's a case of simply making a date at your local restaurant. If he fails to make the effort then it’s time to question just how much this relationship means to each of you. If he isn’t interested then why should you be?
 
You pick fights...

 Picking fights with your loved one is a sign of irritation and unfortunately, the beginning of the end. Relationship expert, Rachel DeAlto says, “Often women tend to start picking fights when they feel a relationship is at its end. They are trying to get the guy to do the dirty work and break it off.”

So if the small things that never used to bother you are now more infuriating then cute, it’s time to move on to someone where you can spend your time snogging rather than arguing.

 You avoid future plans...

  You need to have a serious relationship overhaul! Being in love should never be a chore or require too much effort. In fact, you should be counting down the days to booking another romantic trip or having that quiet evening you’ve planned together.

 So what if you're not? Well, you can’t MAKE yourself want to spend time with someone, try doing something you’re both interested in to give your relationship one last shot. If you still want to avoid him afterwards, then it’s time to avoid the relationship altogether.

You don’t get affectionate...

 Can you remember the last time you missed your man? Do you often tell him you love him? Love snuggling up for a cuddle? If these feelings and expressions have become a thing of the past, then your relationship needs an emotional overhaul. If you don’t want to embrace your man or you wouldn’t miss him if he left then it’s time to move on.
 
 You start daydreaming...

So if you find yourself drifting into sweet dreams about everyone OTHER than your man, you need to question just why that is. Have you fallen out of love? Does he fail to float your boat? Or is he just boring you? Either way, it’s HIM you should be dreaming about, so you need to rethink if you have a wandering mind.
 You fight constantly...

 A spat of words in a relationship is a great way to vent and can actually be healthy, after all, it shows you both still care. If you get to a point however, when you can no longer resolve the issues and just fight ALL the time, you need to think about how you want to continue in the relationship. If you find you both still have the desire to sort things out, you could be in with a chance of reviving your relationship. If there’s no want, then unfortunately there’s no relationship.

 You’ve lost interest...

 At the beginning of a relationship, you and your man are inseparable. You embark on endless text convos about what you’re up to, late night phone calls to see how his day went and go on spontaneous dates so you can spend even more time together. Once chatting about these general day-to-day topics no longer interests either of you, it’s time to decide whether you’ve outgrown one another.

"In love, you know your relationship is over when you become completely indifferent to them,” says relationship expert Rachel DeAlto. “If you don't care what he does, where he goes or whether you even see him, it is time to move on.”

Rachel also adds, “The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference," so if you don't feel anything strong, then the passion has definitely left the building!

 He's cheated...


 "Cheating in a relationship is always damaging. There are many factors that come into play when deciding if it's time to call it quits, but it all comes down to whether you can rebuild the trust," says Rachel DeAlto. "If you cannot forgive and trust them again, it's better to walk away."

Try a romantic break to see if you can rekindle some romance and remember why you fell in love. If you still can’t get over a past infidelity, then you need to consider that his breach of trust may just not be something you will ever get over.


Source: Cosmopolitan.com

Thursday, 9 August 2012

Things Men wish Women knew....

Men often ask the question, “What do women want?” A wise person once answered, “If you want to know what women want, ask them… one at a time.” 

Since that’s an impossible task for any man, I asked several single ladies to share what men really don’t know about them and what they look for in a date. Guys, you might find their answers surprisingly myth-busting in some instances, while others might validate what you already believe. Either way, hopefully these insights will give you the inside track on understanding women better and improving your dating skills: 

1. You risk it all if you wait forever to reach out to a woman who interests you. “Supposedly, men and women are on different timelines when it comes to making contact,” says Mary L., 38, a resident of Washington state. “Guys take their own sweet time to call us for a date and follow up afterward. But the older we get, the less tolerant we are of the waiting game. Guys, wait too long to get in touch — or be inconsistent in how often you’re in contact with us — and we will lose interest. Patience has more of a shelf life than you realize.”

2. Not all women who date are looking for a serious relationship. “Guys think we’re all on the same ‘dating for a relationship’ track. But sometimes, we just want to date casually,” says Los Angeles native Marcie R., 29. “We’re just happier being upfront about it. Guys seem to have a harder time admitting that’s what they want right now. That leads to hot and cold behavior, which women hate.” Not looking to get serious? Send those signals out from day one. Don’t start seeing a woman and then back-pedal like crazy when things get heavy. It’s much better to find a girl who’s OK with casual dating, too. 

3. You’d be surprised about what women find to be genuinely sexy in a man. Guys, do you think you’re dazzling women with your bravado, squeaky-clean look and manly stubbornness? Well, maybe. But guess what? Women think that a man dressed in a plain t-shirt and a pair of hot jeans is truly sexy, so avoid anything too trendy, loose or ill-fitting — the classics are fine. Women love it when you ask for their advice. (OK, except when it comes to directions... that’s why you have a GPS in the car. At least one of you needs to know where you’re going on dates, right?) And according to a recent Daily Mail survey, 93 percent of respondents said that if you are fixing, building, making, or cooking something specifically for a woman, the chance that you’ll get lucky just went up exponentially. 

4. Being a cheapskate is a deal-breaker for women. There’s plenty of debate about who should pay for a date. Some people think that men should always pick up the tab, while others opt for a more practical “let’s take turns” approach. Regardless of who pays, a man who comes off as being cheap is persona non gratain a woman’s world. “Cheapness is the kiss of death for me,” says Linda W., 37, from Virginia. Focusing on how much the date costs, handing coupons to a waiter or refusing to tip service people adequately can make a bad impression on anyone and will usually nix your chances for a second date. 

5. Women struggle to make a connection while remaining independent, too. First dates can be like visiting an amusement park; at first, you’re thrilled with the flashy, colored lights and the sense of anticipation. As things progress, you find yourself alternating emotionally between rip-roaring excitement and the onset of dating burnout. You might feel a pressing need to just chill out at home and get a sense of normalcy by going through your regular, single-life routine. So, men, relax and realize that you’re not alone — women ride the same emotional rollercoaster that goes along with dating someone new. Like you, they vacillate betweenwanting to be in a relationship and craving independence, especially as they age. Finding the right balance is the key to satisfying these needs, regardless of who you are. Nobody healthy and sane wants to be defined by his or her relationship, and these days, women are more independent than ever before. 

6. They call it “women’s intuition” because they are adept at reading nonverbal cues if something feels “off” with a date. Women have great instincts. Yes, this is a stereotype, but stereotypes often contain a grain of truth. So, men, it’s better not to lie or become emotionally distant when she questions you about things like dating each other exclusively or what you did last weekend. Chances are she’ll know something is amiss, even if you think you’re sparing her feelings by lying. Even if you fool her once, you’ll have to keep your story straight, which isn’t always easy to do. And once a woman thinks she can’t trust you, it’s the kiss of dating death. 

7. No woman wants to be your mother (or a carbon copy of her own). Women and men alike have grown up hearing that, in the words of the famous Al Jolson song, a guy wants a “gal just like the gal that married dear old Dad.” But smart single women, as much as they may adore their own mothers (and will grow to loves yours, too!) are not looking to be anyone’s mommy when it comes to dates. They know the difference between a man who lovingly respects his own mother and one who requires around-the-clock babysitting, emotionally or otherwise. Parenting another adult implies major control issues, no matter who is doing it — plus it’s just plain creepy

8. It’s the little things that matter when it comes to impressing a woman. If you want a woman to feel like she’s special, really pay attention to her; notice the small things, however unremarkable. Women will grown more attracted to you if they realize you are genuinely interested in who they are as individuals and the things that matter to them, no matter how trivial. Remembering something minor about her appearance, interests, lifestyle or behavior — whether it’s her favorite flower, preferred drink or what color dress she was wearing on your first date — all add up to win you big points in the game of love. 

9. Women are slower to end relationships than men, even short-term ones. “If a new relationship isn’t working out, we’re less likely to dump you without warning,” says 28-year-old Trish C. from Virginia. “When men do that and run off, we think less of them. Even from a short-term relationship, we extricate ourselves slowly to make sure we’re respectful, ready and not making a mistake. But the signs that we’re planning to leave are usually there if you pay attention.” So, guys, if your gut tells you that things aren’t working out, you’re probably right. If you decide to end things first, though, give her the same courtesy she’d give you by telling her in person and avoid the vanishing act. You might think you’re being kind by sparing her the dreaded breakup discussion, but in reality, she’d rather hear the truth. 


“What do Women Want ?

Men often ask the question, “What do women want?” A wise person once answered, “If you want to know what women want, ask them… one at a time.”
Since that’s an impossible task for any man, I asked several single ladies to share what men really don’t know about them and what they look for in a date. Guys, you might find their answers surprisingly myth-busting in some instances, while others might validate what you already believe. Either way, hopefully these insights will give you the inside track on understanding women better and improving your dating skills:

1. You risk it all if you wait forever to reach out to a woman who interests you. “Supposedly, men and women are on different timelines when it comes to making contact,” says Mary L., 38, a resident of Washington state. “Guys take their own sweet time to call us for a date and follow up afterward. But the older we get, the less tolerant we are of the waiting game. Guys, wait too long to get in touch — or be inconsistent in how often you’re in contact with us — and we will lose interest. Patience has more of a shelf life than you realize.”

2. Not all women who date are looking for a serious relationship. “Guys think we’re all on the same ‘dating for a relationship’ track. But sometimes, we just want to date casually,” says Los Angeles native Marcie R., 29. “We’re just happier being upfront about it. Guys seem to have a harder time admitting that’s what they want right now. That leads to hot and cold behavior, which women hate.” Not looking to get serious? Send those signals out from day one. Don’t start seeing a woman and then back-pedal like crazy when things get heavy. It’s much better to find a girl who’s OK with casual dating, too.

3. You’d be surprised about what women find to be genuinely sexy in a man. Guys, do you think you’re dazzling women with your bravado, squeaky-clean look and manly stubbornness? Well, maybe. But guess what? Women think that a man dressed in a plain t-shirt and a pair of hot jeans is truly sexy, so avoid anything too trendy, loose or ill-fitting — the classics are fine. Women love it when you ask for their advice. (OK, except when it comes to directions... that’s why you have a GPS in the car. At least one of you needs to know where you’re going on dates, right?) And according to a recent Daily Mail survey, 93 percent of respondents said that if you are fixing, building, making, or cooking something specifically for a woman, the chance that you’ll get lucky just went up exponentially.

4. Being a cheapskate is a deal-breaker for women. There’s plenty of debate about who should pay for a date. Some people think that men should always pick up the tab, while others opt for a more practical “let’s take turns” approach. Regardless of who pays, a man who comes off as being cheap is persona non grata in a woman’s world. “Cheapness is the kiss of death for me,” says Linda W., 37, from Virginia. Focusing on how much the date costs, handing coupons to a waiter or refusing to tip service people adequately can make a bad impression on anyone and will usually nix your chances for a second date.

5. Women struggle to make a connection while remaining independent, too. First dates can be like visiting an amusement park; at first, you’re thrilled with the flashy, colored lights and the sense of anticipation. As things progress, you find yourself alternating emotionally between rip-roaring excitement and the onset of dating burnout. You might feel a pressing need to just chill out at home and get a sense of normalcy by going through your regular, single-life routine. So, men, relax and realize that you’re not alone — women ride the same emotional roller coaster that goes along with dating someone new. Like you, they vacillate between wanting to be in a relationship and craving independence, especially as they age. Finding the right balance is the key to satisfying these needs, regardless of who you are. Nobody healthy and sane wants to be defined by his or her relationship, and these days, women are more independent than ever before.

6. They call it “women’s intuition” because they are adept at reading nonverbal cues if something feels “off” with a date. Women have great instincts. Yes, this is a stereotype, but stereotypes often contain a grain of truth. So, men, it’s better not to lie or become emotionally distant when she questions you about things like dating each other exclusively or what you did last weekend. Chances are she’ll know something is amiss, even if you think you’re sparing her feelings by lying. Even if you fool her once, you’ll have to keep your story straight, which isn’t always easy to do. And once a woman thinks she can’t trust you, it’s the kiss of dating death.

7. No woman wants to be your mother (or a carbon copy of her own). Women and men alike have grown up hearing that, in the words of the famous Al Jolson song, a guy wants a “gal just like the gal that married dear old Dad.” But smart single women, as much as they may adore their own mothers (and will grow to loves yours, too!) are not looking to be anyone’s mommy when it comes to dates. They know the difference between a man who lovingly respects his own mother and one who requires around-the-clock babysitting, emotionally or otherwise. Parenting another adult implies major control issues, no matter who is doing it — plus it’s just plain creepy.

8. It’s the little things that matter when it comes to impressing a woman. If you want a woman to feel like she’s special, really pay attention to her; notice the small things, however unremarkable. Women will grown more attracted to you if they realize you are genuinely interested in who they are as individuals and the things that matter to them, no matter how trivial. Remembering something minor about her appearance, interests, lifestyle or behavior — whether it’s her favorite flower, preferred drink or what color dress she was wearing on your first date — all add up to win you big points in the game of love.

9. Women are slower to end relationships than men, even short-term ones. “If a new relationship isn’t working out, we’re less likely to dump you without warning,” says 28-year-old Trish C. from Virginia. “When men do that and run off, we think less of them. Even from a short-term relationship, we extricate ourselves slowly to make sure we’re respectful, ready and not making a mistake. But the signs that we’re planning to leave are usually there if you pay attention.” So, guys, if your gut tells you that things aren’t working out, you’re probably right. If you decide to end things first, though, give her the same courtesy she’d give you by telling her in person and avoid the vanishing act. You might think you’re being kind by sparing her the dreaded breakup discussion, but in reality, she’d rather hear the truth.